A friend of mine has just lost their parent and I don’t know what to say or how to help. What can I do?

“A friend of mine has just lost their parent and I don’t know what to say or how to help. What can I do?”

Supporting people who have lost a loved one can be really difficult. When people are sad and distressed we automatically want to cheer them up, tell them to look on the bright side. But that’s really hard when someone has been bereaved, so very often we avoid people or we come out with the usual tropes like ‘oh they had good life’.

The way to help your friend is to be there and listen to them if they want to talk. Don’t be afraid of their distress. It’s ok. It’s normal. Don’t feel you have to fix their pain, you help by listening and acknowledging their pain. We can’t take away their pain, we can only help them through it. Ask how you can help and respect their answer. Also remember to take time for your own grieving if necessary. Your emotions matter too.