“Christmas is coming and lots of people are getting really excited but to be honest I really don’t enjoy Christmas. I don’t have happy memories of it as a child and it can trigger a lot of difficult emotions. People can call me a miserable scrooge and it’s not like I want to spoil their fun, I just don’t want to be part of it. Any advice?”
You are so not alone in feeling this way. For many people Christmas really isn’t enjoyable and it’s something they just feel they need to endure, to get through. Either Christmas wasn’t happy for them as a child or maybe recent events trigger difficult memories. I need to stress that there is nothing wrong with you for feeling like this and you shouldn’t feel bad for not wanting to take part. I think many people need to remember that happy Christmases are a privilege not afforded to everyone. If you have that privilege embrace it and be grateful but don’t force joy on others.
Consider how you will deal with events, conversations etc around Christmas. For example, if you’re invited to a Christmas party and you don’t want to go just say “I don’t find Christmas events enjoyable for a variety of reasons but I hope you all have a good time”, or “I have a prior family engagement I can’t get out of.” Ask not to be involved in any present rituals as it triggers difficult emotions for you. If the ‘joy’ in the workplace is becoming too much, speak to a line manager quietly about it being overwhelming and ask that consideration is made for employees who don’t celebrate Christmas for whatever reason. You shouldn’t feel obliged to enjoy Christmas and don’t criticise yourself for not feeling excitement. You are not alone and you are not wrong.
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